So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
