In the future we'll all be gay
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
