can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Randomize
