babies were throwing up all over the place
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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