after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
i think i just lost a toe
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
