Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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