I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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