And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
