Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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