bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
