I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
