So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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