Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize