Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
