and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize