I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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