Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
