he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
