I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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