DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
