Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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