So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Randomize
