i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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