i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
