bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
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