Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(303): View more from Colorado

Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega

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(720): View more from Colorado

I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.

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(615): View more from Tennessee

He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."

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(347): View more from New York

Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"

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(708): View more from Illinois

Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis

(773): View more from Illinois

Just arrived at our party

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.

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(646): View more from New York

Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?

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