Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
