So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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