I bet he comes in French.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Randomize
