I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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