You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
