I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
The beers last night were like the tears from god
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Randomize
