I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
if i died would you start the facebook group?
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
