I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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