she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
