last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
It's blow job season.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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