Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
