She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
