If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
