He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
