omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize