I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
