U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
