What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize