dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
