i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
