highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
