I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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