check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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