OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
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