i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
