OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
