I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
