hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Girls should come with a carfax report
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
