Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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