he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
