when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
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