STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
