Rock
Scissors
Fuck
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Randomize
