Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
